the naked american

when i first moved to la five years ago, i was slightly amused by the way people relegated their lives to their immediate geographies. people in hollywood would not hang out with people downtown. people in venice would not hang out with people in the valley. people in pasadena…were pretty much screwed.

i arrived and was driving all over the city. you meet a gal in north hollywood, you drive over to her hood and hang out there. you find a group of guys who get together and play football on saturdays in hermosa beach, you make the drive. my first few months were spent driving all over the city, seeing all the different neighborhoods and learning about la. and then the newness wore off, my exuberance lagged and my tolerance for mind-numbing traffic fell to nil.

there are things that you may notice about yourself that indicate you have fully assimilated into the angeleno lifestyle. these include being jobless, getting your first dui and, of course, only making friends inside your area code.

i once stopped seeing a very attractive woman because she lived in north hollywood and i was living in venice. the drive…the drive was insane. if we wanted to go out for an 8pm dinner, i would have to leave my place shortly after five to be at her place by 7:20. she would sprint out to the car, which i still have in drive and am only slowing down in front of her house long enough for her to jump into the car. we then haul ass to whatever place we are going to, but it has to be in her side of the town because we won’t have time to get anywhere else. am i exaggerating? you try and drive from venice to north hollywood in rush hour traffic. gun. head. shoot.

the point is that i moved to one of the largest cities in the world and it began collapsing on me until i was left only with whatever was west of the 405.

it is honestly more convenient to try and date someone in another city, or even another state. take ny for example. i would rather and try and date a gal there than in the valley - less hassle and i don’t have to drive to the valley. ever. again.

does this mean romance is dead? maybe. or maybe it is just stuck in traffic. either way, i’m still not driving to the valley.